The White House (and a few of its nutcase allies--think Senator Santorum) tried for a couple of days this week to put out the following message points to deflecting criticism from the fed's handling of Hurricane Katrina relief. The attempt seems to have subsided. But, here are the three points I heard from El Presidente's defenders:

1. Those who stayed behind and those who died? It's their owned damned fault.
2. What problems? Everything went fine. The only people criticizing the United States of America and its heroic president are Godless-liberals / Democrats.
3. Americans shouldn't rely on government for anything (except Pat Robertson looking in your bedroom window). They should do for themselves--just like John Wayne always did!

So, now I just need to figure out how to build a levee around my house and to construct a bio-decontamination suit. Can anyone recommend some good seminars? I bet Halliburton offers something.